Broken

Last night I was watching God Tv and thinking about how the day had not gone as well as I would have liked.  We had court and although it did not go poorly, not much was accomplished.  I have been praying for a divine intervention to bring my husband home.  So, as I am sitting in my comfy chair, holding a sleeping princess, I just kept thinking "broken, I am so broken."  The tv caught my attention and one of my guys said something to the fact of "sometimes God has to allow us to be broken so he can fill us back up."  Holy Hannah!  It then made so much sense to me.  We had allowed ourselves, and in turn our family, to fall away from God (not intentionally) and that allowed these things to happen.  The good thing, is that it has made both Steve and I literally hit our knees.  We have each reconnected with our Savior and in turn, with each other.  I can say that this is the hardest thing I have gone through as a mom and wife, yet I have peace that He is going to us it for His glory.  We have been able to refocus on what the right priorities are, and start living in a way that is more pleasing to Him. Now, we just need everyone else on board so we can bring our family back together and start anew.  This too shall pass. I am so glad I have an everlasting Father that can build us a shelter to weather this storm.


P.S. Went to the clinic and I have lost 10#'s since June.  Hip-hip Horray!

Our God is GREATER!

I am broken.  I am hurting.  I am confused. 
You know that feeling you get in your stomach when something isn't right, or something bad is going to happen? Yea, I have that.  I have since yesterday when I was basically told our family will not be a whole unit for a very long time.  I can not even begin to describe they way that came down on me. Similar to standing in the middle of a hurricane and at the same moment the ground begins to shake violently.  There is nothing to hold on to, nothing to save you.

WAIT!

There is something to hold on to!  God is still here, he hasn't abanded me.  This song is exactly where I am standing.  I am holding on to the one and only Rock, my solid foundation.  God is stronger than the circumstances that are surrounding us.  Nothing is "final" until court, Sep 13th. (And even that isn't really final, it is just what we have to follow until the next court day.) The judge has his own mind and can look at all the information to make his decisions.  I am praying that the Lord will open his eyes and he can see the truth.  That truth, is that we are imperfect people who have made mistakes.  BUT, we very much love ALL of our children and want the best for them.  We are willing to walk through the fire to have our family whole again.  As Christians, we are not guaranteed an easy, carefree life. We were promised that we will not have to go through it alone.  He will carry us through it.  We may be left with some pretty deep wounds, but He is the ultimate Healer.  You see, this is not our forever home and this is not a forever situation. However, it looks like I need to train for a Marathon.  I will remember, while I learn endurance, to be joyful in all situations, and to always give HIM the glory.


He is my Healer
He is my Refuge
He is my Strength
He is my Comforter
He is my Firm Foundation
He is my Savior

He is Everything I need, right now, and forever.